Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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