My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
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He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Vodka?
Forever.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
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She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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