Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
