he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
where does the pee come out of this thing
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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