yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
