Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Semen is not good for contacts.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
