There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
