The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
