Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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