her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
