Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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