I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
