Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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