sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
