well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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