It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
NoShamevember. You game?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
