Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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