i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
