You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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