If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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