I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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