My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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