How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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