I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
