Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize