so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
