just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
