Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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