I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My dick has a subreddit
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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