You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
