He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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