i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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