Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
