Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
