yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
