yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
