Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
