walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
