My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
