Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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