5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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