hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
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Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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