Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
