I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
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The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
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I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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