he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
