mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
