in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
