I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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