If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
