guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
