He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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