Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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