Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
