i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Drake has all the answers
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
