she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
