Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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