You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
