We got so high we made milksteak
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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