After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
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the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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