the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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