Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
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Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
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strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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