life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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