is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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