May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
