I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
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we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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