did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize